Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The most disappointing show of 2005-2006...

...is Rollergirls.

The concept was actually fun.  It's another reality show, but it was following a female Roller Derby league.  A female Roller Derby league based in smalltown Texas.  A female Roller Derby league based in smalltown Texas with trashy lingerie as uniforms.  So why did it suck?

  • The characters.  I watched, and ultimately, I didn't care about any of the people shown.  Not even the Hunter S. Thompson wannabe who was Venis Envy's boyfriend.  Part of it was because of the way that the game was presented (more on that in a bit), but a lot of it was the way we were introduced to everybody.  Venis Envy was the featured player, and we got to hear her life story.  Honestly, it wasn't that interesting.  Beyond that, we had other players shown at random times in various situations, and we had no concept as to who they or their personality were.  It was as though there was an introductary episode that wasn't aired which explained who most of these people were.
  • The "plot".  It just seemed like they filmed a ton of footage, and then showed what they felt was the most entertaining scenes, with an interspersing of the main "plotline".  I'm putting "plot" and "plotline" in quotations because it was pretty basic.  Venis Envy is a rookie, and is going to play in a game for the first time.  She doesn't know what she's getting herself into.  And that's it.  This went on for 40 minutes!  But hey, one of the teams went out on the town in a limo as a part of a failed win-a-date thingy (don't ask), and the other one takes the opportunity to TP a bunch of the first team's homes.  Exciting!
  • The game itself.  I have some news for people who think that Roller Derby is legitimate competition based on this show:  It isn't.  Roller Derby is as "legitimate" as professional wrestling, and quite honestly it affected my watching of the show.  Building up some sort of rivalry between Lux (the veteran and "star" skater) and Venis Envy (the rookie) and then trying to show it during the game (and only having one sequence where they were directly competing with each other) was weak at best, especially when ultimately, it's all fixed.  (The "scrimmage" between the two teams?  Likely a runthrough.)  It might make for a more interesting show if they actually let on that it was predetermined.  (Edit: It has come to my attention that this could very well be wrong. If it is, then I apologize to all those involved for insuating otherwise.)
  • We get great post-production used to cover up how bush league the actual "game" is.  The announcers are horrible.  The crowd is small, but the crowd noise makes it seems like there are 10,000 people.  And the jams score a lot less points then they appear to, thanks to the editing to show the game as being more exciting.


I would list the positives, but beyond the top-notch production level of the show therea aren't any.  Highest recommendation to avoid.

(Hopefully, King of Vegas will not be as disappointing.)

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