Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The International Crisis Facing Us All

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

First, she must be congratulated, as she has the rare chance of being a celebrity who is a MILF at the same time she is jailbait.

But for those of us who were wondering exactly how to cope with this tragic news, we need not worry. CNN has things covered with their article How do you talk to kids about Britney's sister?.

I think one thing is missing from the article though: I wouldn't be talking about Britney's sister, I'd be talking about Jamie Lynn Spears, star of Zoey 101. Look, if my child only knows Jamie Lynn Spears for being Britney's sister, I'm guessing I don't need to worry about them saying "Well, if Britney's sister can have unprotected sex at age 16 and she's famous, why can't I?" But if my child knows that Zoey is pregnant, I might need to have a discussion with them.

I do feel sorry for Jamie Lynn because this is getting much more attention because this is Britney's sister who is pregnant. If her last name was Jones instead of Spears, it won't spark a front page discussion on about how to talk to your kids about this, or a discussion on variances in statuatory rape laws from state to state.

CNN also brings the obvious, with their "analysis" that Spears' pregnancy may harm her career. You think being a 17 year old who's career has been based on being a clean-cut kid who stars in a family friendly TV show might be harmed by a teen pregnancy?

A couple of other random thoughts about things related to this:

- Lynne Spears had a parenting book coming out? And this was before the Jamie Lynn news? I don't know if that amuses me as much as the fact that the publisher's spokesman did not give a reason for the book being postponed indefinitely. Reading between the lines has never been this easy.
- My thoughts also go out to Scott Feschuk, who is currently on holiday hiatus. I'm hopeful that his head doesn't explode from all of the jokes that his brain has come up with.

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Quick Survivor follow-up

According to this article from the Star, Kel has finally been surpassed as the most successful Canadian in Survivor history. Not that it was a difficult feat, but Todd is half Canadian.

As well, Denise might not have been telling the truth when she said she lost her job unwillingly. According to her employer, she actually requested the janitor's job she has. Mark Burnett might be regretting his gift of $50,000.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

(Kinda) Live blogging the Survivor: China finale

8:36 pm - Funny story. I forgot that the finale was on, even after Matty P called me earlier in the day and asked if I would be watching it. So all I know is Todd is paranoid about getting voted out (uh, duh). I guess he didn't win immunity.

8:37 pm - Ah, just in time for the "honour your fallen comrades" piece.

8:38 pm - Holy crap Todd is incredibly humble here, crediting all of the people who were voted out prior as getting him to the final 4. Did somebody tell him they would be watching the confessionals?

8:39 pm - Courtney wishes that she could have gotten to know Ashley better. I can only presume it's to discuess the best method of staying deathly ill.

8:40 pm - Is Courtney crying when she got to Lesley's torch?

8:41 pm - Amanda (who's going to win tonight), misses hot guy Aaron. In other news, the sky rises from the east.

8:41 pm - Courtney calls Sherea one of her good friends.

8:42 pm - Okay, this is the greatest thing ever. The first things they show for Jamie's "highlights" is her throwing the immunity challenge and then her failed attempt to play an immunity idol (complete with Jeff throwing said idol into the fire - which reminds me, did Jeff plan that?)

8:43 pm - Ah, the James hitting Todd in the shoulder as a friend, and Todd almost falling over moment.

8:45 pm - BTW, they are about to compete in the final immunity challenge, which means final 3 goes to jury again. Which also contradicts the "3 tribal councils" thing in the preview for the finale.

8:46 pm - And off we go to commercial!

8:47 pm - For those wondering where my posts have been, let's just say that procrastination/apathy got the best of me. After James got the boot, things went almost according to plan (Erik went before Peih-Gee), so it was really a holding pattern until this show. A first (and last) look at a list of who will win:

Most likely to win:

1. Amanda
2. Todd
3. Denise
4. Courtney

Most likely to win if they make the final 3:

1. Denise
2. Amanda
3. Todd
4. Courtney

(Denise wins if she makes it to final 3, no questions asked. That's why the final 3 is going to be Todd, Amanda and Courtney. Amanda is not going to stick up for Denise, when shw knows she can win over everybody except Denise.)

8:50 pm - Back from break and here comes the Immunity Challenge. Umm, wow. You have to balance porcelin (sp?) dishes on a large stick balancing thingy. Every second they seem to be adding new dishes. Last person with dishes standing wins.

8:52 pm - Now it's going to get interesting, sez Jeff.

8:53 pm - You are supposed to eliminate all distractions, with Jeff saying how hot is and how Todd is wobbling (heck, he's holding it at an angle.) FWIW, we didn't need to see the close-up of Todd's chin with sweat coming off of it.)

8:54 pm - Todd goes, with the music giving it away.

8:55 pm - Wow, Amanda smartly puts a bowl upside down so it sits better. When you compare it to Denise and Courtney's stacks, it is amazing how advantageous it is.

8:56 pm - Courtney is out and she looks like she might fall over.

8:57 pm - Denise is holding on hard, Amanda is loosely holding on. Denise is trying to deal her way to the finals, but Amanda refuses.

8:57 pm - Amanda wins! And the first thing she says to Denise is "Do you think I was going to let you quit on me?" There is absolutely no chance that Amanda loses now. ZERO!

8:58 pm - Jeff's little pep talk for everybody to try to make deals to make the final 3 has to be becuase of the Earl clean sweep last year.

9:02 pm - Time for the classic swerve. Amanda talks about how great it is that she won, but the person voted out will hate her.

9:03 pm - Denise is trying to sway votes, but is trying to use the sympathy ploy. ARGH! No matter how much it might seem like it is a good idea, it never works.

9:05 pm - Tood is paranoid. But I respect that he told Amanda that he didn't care what she said to Denise to avoid getting a black mark.

9:06 pm - "[Denise] doesn't deserve [the million dollars] just because she sucks at life."

9:07 pm - So Amanda is not going to vote for Denise tonight. I smell a vote for Courtney from Amanda.

9:08 pm - Wait, Amanda actually thinks Todd is her threat, and is torn because of her loyalty to the Todd-Courtney-Amanda alliance. All of the stuff about Amanda not being able to lose tonight? Out the window. Christ, Denise deserves to win if Amanda is stupid enough to vote for Todd.

9:09 pm - Jeff breaks the ice, but Denise keeps on talking about being on the outsider.

9:10 pm - Dance Courtney dance. "Everybody is on the outside"? BS.

9:11 pm - Jeff brings perceptions and stuff.

9:12 pm - Jeff asks the obvious question to Denise: "Why keep you around?" Denise gives a horrible answer which starts with "I guess you should get rid of me"

9:13 pm - Courtney is winning me over with her response to the "Why keep you?" question. It boiled down to "Nobody wants to see me win." (Direct quote: "And then there's my winning personality")

9:14 pm - Um, Denise is screwed. She just said that Amanda told her she had her back, and then Amanda corrected that. Then Todd gets called out for his grin, and he tried to spin it as feeling sympathy for Denise.

9:15 pm - Denise gets the boot, and I think Amanda's puppy has died. And we also get the looks from the jury to say "I'm disappointed in you three." BTW, Todd and Courtney needs to dial down the pride factor. Celebrate after you leave tribal council you fools.

9:18 pm - Okay, I'm still standing by the Amanda as winner prediction. But this Denise thing needs to be dealt with pronto. I'm guessing Denise will be the last one to speak at tribal council, which hopefully won't be that bad to listen to.

9:23 pm - Amanda is now killing Todd over the commentary on the "I have your back" moment. Todd is trying to smooth it over, but yeah, we've got bad blood.

9:24 pm - Todd claims it was an accident. But man alive, this coudl be interesting (but not likely).

9:26 pm - Todd is says that Amanda should feel better and she just needs to thing about, uh, something. I guess it was supposed to be eating real food, but it sure looked like some sort of, uh, sexual act.

9:27 pm - Food comes, and Amanda is happy. Courtney is hoping that her being herself gets some sort of respect for making it that far. Then she makes fun of Jean-Robert's $500 Louis Vutton shoes. Hope you enjoy your lack of votes Courtney.

9:28 pm - Todd's attitude of "I was playing a game" is a great attitude to have. Amanda's "I have a 33% chance of winning, and I'm going to be completely honest" attitude is also really good. With that said, they spent more time on her and her personal transformation than Todd, so she's winning.

9:30 pm - Here comes the jury. Jamie is looking boobtastic tonight. Denise looks the same as always.

9:31 pm - Power switches to the jury, yada yada yada.

9:31 pm - Amanda opening statement:

* Had a lot of time to reflect on the experience.
* Feels blessed to be sitting there
* Followed a specific strategy: align with somebody
* Aligned with people who she could beat physically
* Jean-Robert, James, Frosti pointed out specifically as being backstabbed (not Denise)

9:32 pm - Todd opening statement:

* Thanks jury for being where they are
* Lied, backstabbed, etc.
* Dream comes true to be sitting at final council
* (PG not interested in Todd at all)
* Separate game from personal

9:33 pm - Courtney opening statement:

* Not a Survivor fan.
* She didn't know what to do and had to figure it out
* Was surprised each time she wasn't voted out.
* She started out weighing 95 pounds
* She won an IC, and is made good alliances, etc.

9:34 pm - Courtney might have clawed back into having an off chance in winning this thing. That opening statement might have put things into a different perspective for the jurors. And Amanda doesn't feel that she backstabbed Denise, but did Frosti, Jean-Robert and James? Interesting.

9:39 pm - And we're back. Jury questions! (No time codes for this.)

James up first, and he looks happy:

He congratulates them, and isn't going to be bitter. He asks for a good time in Survivor. Courtney answers when they first won.

JR next:

He has a dilemma. He doesn't like Courtney, but he promised Amanda and Todd

How can JR vote for Court:

Court quotes the tag line, and won

Amanda, were you lying or did you make a commitment and turn around:

- She broke the word, she didn't want to vote for him, but too many other ones did.

Todd, I went to you day 1, and blah blah blah, why did this happen:

- You were catching up and came up with the strategy I wanted to. I had to get rid of you.

Jeff keeps on going to James, a lot


You slid in there, Todd.

- Nuh-huh. I got my numbers, called out, etc.

PG: Amanda, stop staring at me with those doe eyes and apologizing (the doe eyes thing won't stop). What did you do better than Todd?

- Caused the James vote.

Erik: What was the riskiest move?

Amanda - Vote out James.

Erik - How is it risky to vote out a guy with two immunity idols?

Amanda - If he played it, I'm fucked.

- Frosti: Todd, why do you deserve my vote?

Todd: Personal different than game. And I lied and voted to you.

Frosti flirts with Courtney, then asks why did you backstab me?

Courtney: Everybody was panicked that I was not going to vote for you. I don't know if telling you would help or not. You aren't a pocket vote.

Jamie: Dirty laundry time.

Courtney, squeal on Todd:

- Airing Todd's dirty laundry is redundant.

Jamie won't give it up though. Courtney basically refuses to say anything bad and Jamie throws her away as a possibility to win.

Todd basically calls Courtney undeserving.

Jamie moves on to Amanda.

Courtney - She's an ungrateful bitch (paraphrased).

Todd - If he's such a great strategic player, why did he lie so much.

Now Todd on Amanda:

I was the bag man/fall guy for her.


Bitter speech turns into lecture turns into I'm going to vote for Courtney. (That sound was my eyes rolling. YOU JUST SAID "I WAS GOING TO WIN". BUT YOU GUYS VOTED ME OUT, SO I'M BITTER AND I'LL VOTE FOR COURTNEY BECAUSE OF IT.)

9:54 pm - Commercials. Voting to come. I think Amanda wins, but Todd has a chance, and so does Courtney.

9:58 pm - Here comes the vote. Or not. Stupid quick news update.

9:59 pm - Here's the vote. Jamie votes for Todd and says that he didn't have her vote coming into it, but the tribal council swung things his way. Erik votes for Amanda and sympthasizes with her struggle to be honest. Denise votes for Courtney. JR says that the person he voted for "stole" a million dollars. Todd is so winning this based on that comment.

10:02 pm - Amazing cut scene stuff ,with Jeff saying "I know you'd like me to read these votes" - cut to scene from final tribal council - then Jeff says "and I will, because we are live!" Well played.

10:03 pm - Courtney cleans up okay. Amanda surprises me a bit.

10:04 pm - Todd so thinks he is winning.

Votes: Courtney, Amanda, Todd, Courtney, Todd, Todd (Todd has won.)

10:05 pm - Todd has some combination of a faux-hawk and a mullet. Quite honestly, how can you compete with that hair?

10:06 pm - Somewhere, Mark Burnett is thrilled with this win. Because it happened because of tribal council. Amanda blew it, plain and simple, while Todd stepped up and totally blew everybody away. We also get Jeff being able to explain to us hwo important the final tribal council is.

10:07 pm - Is Todd going to throw some money James' way for not using the immunity idol?

10:09 pm - Todd apparently had some sort of plan which involved an alliance partner, somebody small, somebody big. He actually planned

10:11 pm - Oh my god, Jean-Robert just got crushed. He admitted he voted for Todd because Todd called him the biggest threat. And then Todd admitted he played JR. But Jeff compliments him on not being bitter (unlike, say, Denise).

10:14 pm - Talk about giving James the idols. Todd did it to make James trust him that he would be

10:15 pm - Amanda was afraid that James might kill everybody if he was still around after the "get James" play.

10:16 pm - Apparently the idols could only be played until the final 5. And James trusted his alliance, which is fair, though unfortunate.

10:17 pm - Denise is getting destroyed over not switching in the final 5, pointing out that the bottom of 3 is better to be in the final 5 than the bottom of 4.

10:18 pm - Peih-Gee regrets not suggesting Courtney instead of Todd, which might have gotten Denise to switch. And just to rub it in, Jeff polls the "new jury" and Peih-Gee would have won.

10:19 pm - Sprint is awarding $100,000 to James the most popular Survivor tonight.

10:27 pm - Courtney is recognized by little kids, but she doesn't like it. And she isn't anorexic, and weighs more than 93 pounds now.

10:29 pm - She actually is totally winning me over here with her honesty.

10:30 pm - Jean-Robert loves the way he played the game, and Jeff says he could read people incrediby well (he called Courtney making the final 3, which is surprising). He is also saying that he is playing his best poker of his life, which doesn't necessarily fit with his results.

10:31 pm - Something I haven't mentioned yet is that China was a fantastic location for Survivor. There were numerous shots through out the season that were just breathtaking.

10:35 pm - Here comes the James talk. "What has the reaction been like?" "It's been great." He's been recognized by kids and "older guys". Oh man, they have a picture of him as a little kid. The craziest time he's been recognized? He was waiting for everybody to leave from a funeral, and people were waiting around. He asked if he could help with anything and was recognized and everything else.

10:38 pm - Apparently Denise lost her job as a lunch lady and instead is a janitor. It's because she's "too recognizable". My guess is that she will soon have her job.

10:39 pm - And the "sucks at life" comment comes up, everybody loves everybody, and Jeff moves on quickly.

10:40 pm - Why does Denise have the mullet? Because she needs short hair in the lunch room, but she still wants to be a woman.

10:41 pm - Jamie and Erik? Maybe a couple? Jamie was afraid to act on her feelings (in lieu of making herself a threat), but now she is acting on it. Jamie says they are dating and Erik is happy. Jeff asks Erik if he's still a virgin?!?!?!?! Erik says yes, but still, Jeff asked the question? Really?

10:48 pm - Time for rapid-fire Survivor. Dave tried to scare James off by going naked. Ashley's fans have been supportive regardless of how much she sucked. Aaron says it was tough to watch his initial alliance be the final 3, but what can you do. Leslie didn't think her faith caused her to get the boot, it was her mouth. (Fantastic attitude.) Sherea was surprised she adapted so well. She credits it to her decision to not do any work around camp. Frosti is "hard core" (the flippity do thing) and was hoping it would just be obstacle courses. Chicken is okay with being voted out first.


10:53 pm - Mark Burnett just decided to give Denise $50,000.

10:56 pm - Survivor announcement! They've never done this before! It's pros (previous favourite players, including one from Survivor 15) vs. joes (superfans)! And that what the tribes are going to be to start. It's in Micronesia. Survivor 16 - Micronesia: Fans vs. Favourites. This February!

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Tuesday, December 04, 2007


Chip Reese: 1951-2007