Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 6 Live Blog

In lieu of an actual post tonight, here's a tape delayed live blog of the episode...

- Matt's "What's up?" to Krista seemed like a come on line.

- Krista talks about how much more substance Matt has. Matt is really get a hero edit.

- Krista calling Matt "Blondie" was fun.

- Steve complaining about getting votes last night? WTF?

- Stephanie is shockingly nice to Steve when he asks her why he was the one who received her vote.

- Quick - what bad word did Stephanie call the rest of her tribe? My guess is "assholes".

- Why does Steve think that it was stupid for Stephanie to have voted against him? Did she know that Krista was going to be receiving the votes? His offense to being voted for by two people on the outs with the tribe is remarkable and well, stupid to borrow a phrase from him.

- Natalie and Ashley are having a spa day, trimming their leg hairs and arm pit hairs. I'm sure the fine people as Sears are happy to see their Craftmaster tools being used for such important needs.

- Ashley asks "What are we doing?" The rest of the world says "I was just asking that question!"

- And here comes killjoy Philip. Here's what I and the girls heard when Philip was talking:

"Blah, blah, blah, blah

- I will say though, Philip's analogys are pretty strong. Between the person who doesn't like dogs impression (patting the head quickly, looking straightforward) and his "I'm the redheaded stepchild" proclamation, we're moving to a more self-aware Philip. Good for his game, bad for us, the viewing audience.

- Wait, Krista is also a person of faith? That came out of nowhere.

- Man, these Redemption Island challenges have had a theme of "use this long thingy to get stuff, then use the stuff to solve a puzzle", haven't they?

- Matt referring to Jeff as "Probst" doesn't feel right. It's like he hasn't earned that right.

- And shockingly, Matt wins.

- Julie celebrating was a horrendous sportsman move. Stay classy Julie (oh, and you know that the Survivor Gods are staring a hole in you right now.)

- Andrea's reaction to seeing the duel and Krista leaving Matt the bible was shocking. Andrea is becoming more and more of a player. (Survivor player, that is)

- Sarita has a hurt tooth. I guess we know who the other target for being voted out tonight is.

- (BTW, "it's not infected, I just cleaned it too much and bacteria got in it" could easily be changed to "it's infected".)

- And now we get the "Sarita is a princess" edit.

- But wait! David is actually concerned about the well being of the tribe in challenges, and wants Stephanie to replace Sarita in the six.

- Exact quote: "If it's me and those 5 I'll shoot myself."

- And yes, he's doing it for the well being of the tribe. It's not because Sarita singled him out for criticism last week, saying he's no good under pressure. Nope, not at all.

- Because if he's looking out for the well being of the tribe, he wouldn't have voted Russell out.

- I can go on with my rant, but the point's made: David isn't doing this for his tribe, he's doing it for revenge.

- Oh Stephanie, you learn how to suck up to people you hate in the business world, not in school. (Though it helps to know that skill in school as well.)

- Philip is gathering wood, and Ashley is rebelling because he didn't ask, he dictated? Oh come on.

- Meanwhile, Rob and Grant understand that these are young girls and they just aren't going to work hard. Which is even more insulting than what Philip is talking about.

- And as if on cue, Philip calls Ashley and Natalie "beauty queens" and Ashley snotily remarks "Thank you! That's a compliment!"

- Philip mispronounces Andrea and Ashley corrects him. Doesn't she understand that he has a dry mouth which is causing the mispronouncing?

- And then Ashley decides to walk away and Philip decides to follow. You know what would have been easier Ashley? Just watching the damn fire.

- Rob refers to himself as Arafat, then says he agrees with Philip, but wanted the girls not to do anything so people would have less of a reason to vote for them. Rob is definitely playing this game at about 18 billion levels higher than anybody else.

- Stephanie's 4 point plan to get back in the good graces of the tribe:
1. Apologize to Steve for voting for him. (Even though it goes against her every ounce of being.)
2. Mention to Steve that she wanted to vote for Sarita.
3. ????
4. Profit!

- Steve thinking that Stephanie wanted to vote for Sarita and that her apology was sincere (only a day after she called him the weakest in the tribe) might make him the most gullible player to play since Erik in Fans vs. Favourites (at the very least, since JT in Heroes vs. Villains).

- Sarita touches her hurt tooth, then puts something in her mouth to chew. Um, how is that a good idea?

- Where's the animosity level between the tribes? "There's a little clash" says Mike. This is code for non-existant.

- And now Jeff is openly mocking Philip. Wow. Respect the gorillion Jeff.

- Philip says that he is using both the gorilla and the lion today. Steve's response? "BOOM. Forearm!" That clip is going to appear on The Soup.

- Hey, remember on Tocantins when JT ripped out his own tooth when it got damaged during the challenge which was essentially this one?

- Reward is picnic lunch with a view?

- Ashley vs. Ralph? Come on.

- This is awesome. Zapatera keeps on blowing this, with Ralph calling for the ball and missing, Julie unable to get a catch, and Rob intercepting some of Stephanie's launches.

- And Omatepe wins 5-0, bringing the tribes back to equal. The Survivor Gods have almost finished their striking down of Zapatera.

- That "picnic" is amazing - lobster tail? Really?

- The Boston Rob immunity idol clue saga continues! And Grant gives up the clue again!

- But a new twist - Philip knows they got the clue and is now on the hunt for an idol! This isn't going to end well for Rob and Grant, but for us viewers? Gold!

- I should really start making a list of memes I am going to steal from Philip. The latest is "Stealth-R-Us", with Philip being the "specialist", Rob being the "mentalist" and Grant being the "assassin".

- And another gem! "Hell hath no fury like a lion and a gorilla that thinks he's been provoked."

- I really need a screen capture of Philip's "I'm going to kick a little ass around here" pose.

- Stephanie is lobbying, which is good. Sarita isn't, which isn't good.

- This "not set in stone" stuff is such a mislead to keep us from figuring out Stephanie is going.

- Though there would be some irony if they kept Stephanie and all of the sudden there was a merge. I would laugh. A lot.

- They get to tribal council, and Jeff goes straight for the throwing of the challenge. If he brings up how historically it has never worked, then that would be gold.

- That's it. I'm calling it now. Ralph is the new Rupert. Blowhard who thinks he can do better no matter what. He gets thrown to and totally blows it, then criticizes the shooter for not putting the ball to the "totally open" person. Um, you lost 5-0. That's not missing open people; it's a complete and total failure.

- Jeff asks Sarita why she sat out, and Stephanie immediately jumps in to say that Sarita was "shaking in her boots" because the challenge was a contact challenge. But Stephanie was fine with Sarita sitting out because Stephanie thinks Sarita isn'tthat great at challenges. (David nods.) Hope you enjoy your time on Redemption Island Stephanie.

- One thing about this "Sarita isn't good at challenges" thing is that it's not like Stephanie has been lights out or anything.

- Also, if Sarita was worried that she was going to have to do something physical, but Stephanie was all gung-ho, what does it say about anything that Stephanie was in the least physical role?

- Sarita should have really stayed quiet. Instead she let the tribe know that she didn't want to be the one to fail, and not to come through. How exactly is the tribe supposed to feel about that? You're afraid to fail? Couldn't that come back to hurt the tribe?

- Jeff picks up on it, saying that you wanted to sit out so you couldn't be a goat. Sarita tried to deny it, but she could only get "No, but.." out of her mouth before David jumped in saying "That's exactly what she said." If you want to look at David's play generously, he's playing the Robfather plan here - getting rid of threats against him above all else. I choose to still think that it comes down to vindictiveness on his part.

- Stephanie swears again!

- Jeff knows a good thing when he sees it, so here comes the leading questions to try to sway the votes to keep Stephanie around.

- And David comes in with another shot. Who is David trying to convince at this point? And if he fails, does he understand that he has made himself a rival in Sarita, and has exposed himself as a troubleamker in the tribe? He needs to dial it down a couple of notches here.

- Ralph seems to be on board with David, which is a bit surprising.

- So David hadn't lined up support for Stephanie yet? Yikes.

- "Stifinie"? When did Philip join Zapatera?

- And there's Stephanie gone. You know last week when I talked about how Zapatera makes bad decisions? Put this in that category. What good is it to have trust if you are goign to go into the merge at a numbers disadvantage?

Tomorrow: Power Rankings come out

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