Quick Survivor follow-up

According to this article from the Star, Kel has finally been surpassed as the most successful Canadian in Survivor history. Not that it was a difficult feat, but Todd is half Canadian.

As well, Denise might not have been telling the truth when she said she lost her job unwillingly. According to her employer, she actually requested the janitor's job she has. Mark Burnett might be regretting his gift of $50,000.

(Kinda) Live blogging the Survivor: China finale

8:36 pm - Funny story. I forgot that the finale was on, even after Matty P called me earlier in the day and asked if I would be watching it. So all I know is Todd is paranoid about getting voted out (uh, duh). I guess he didn't win immunity.

8:37 pm - Ah, just in time for the "honour your fallen comrades" piece.

8:38 pm - Holy crap Todd is incredibly humble here, crediting all of the people who were voted out prior as getting him to the final 4. Did somebody tell him they would be watching the confessionals?

8:39 pm - Courtney wishes that she could have gotten to know Ashley better. I can only presume it's to discuess the best method of staying deathly ill.

8:40 pm - Is Courtney crying when she got to Lesley's torch?

8:41 pm - Amanda (who's going to win tonight), misses hot guy Aaron. In other news, the sky rises from the east.

8:41 pm - Courtney calls Sherea one of her good friends.

8:42 pm - Okay, this is the greatest thing ever. The first things they show for Jamie's "highlights" is her throwing the immunity challenge and then her failed attempt to play an immunity idol (complete with Jeff throwing said idol into the fire - which reminds me, did Jeff plan that?)

8:43 pm - Ah, the James hitting Todd in the shoulder as a friend, and Todd almost falling over moment.

8:45 pm - BTW, they are about to compete in the final immunity challenge, which means final 3 goes to jury again. Which also contradicts the "3 tribal councils" thing in the preview for the finale.

8:46 pm - And off we go to commercial!

8:47 pm - For those wondering where my posts have been, let's just say that procrastination/apathy got the best of me. After James got the boot, things went almost according to plan (Erik went before Peih-Gee), so it was really a holding pattern until this show. A first (and last) look at a list of who will win:

Most likely to win:

1. Amanda
2. Todd
3. Denise
4. Courtney

Most likely to win if they make the final 3:

1. Denise
2. Amanda
3. Todd
4. Courtney

(Denise wins if she makes it to final 3, no questions asked. That's why the final 3 is going to be Todd, Amanda and Courtney. Amanda is not going to stick up for Denise, when shw knows she can win over everybody except Denise.)

8:50 pm - Back from break and here comes the Immunity Challenge. Umm, wow. You have to balance porcelin (sp?) dishes on a large stick balancing thingy. Every second they seem to be adding new dishes. Last person with dishes standing wins.

8:52 pm - Now it's going to get interesting, sez Jeff.

8:53 pm - You are supposed to eliminate all distractions, with Jeff saying how hot is and how Todd is wobbling (heck, he's holding it at an angle.) FWIW, we didn't need to see the close-up of Todd's chin with sweat coming off of it.)

8:54 pm - Todd goes, with the music giving it away.

8:55 pm - Wow, Amanda smartly puts a bowl upside down so it sits better. When you compare it to Denise and Courtney's stacks, it is amazing how advantageous it is.

8:56 pm - Courtney is out and she looks like she might fall over.

8:57 pm - Denise is holding on hard, Amanda is loosely holding on. Denise is trying to deal her way to the finals, but Amanda refuses.

8:57 pm - Amanda wins! And the first thing she says to Denise is "Do you think I was going to let you quit on me?" There is absolutely no chance that Amanda loses now. ZERO!

8:58 pm - Jeff's little pep talk for everybody to try to make deals to make the final 3 has to be becuase of the Earl clean sweep last year.

9:02 pm - Time for the classic swerve. Amanda talks about how great it is that she won, but the person voted out will hate her.

9:03 pm - Denise is trying to sway votes, but is trying to use the sympathy ploy. ARGH! No matter how much it might seem like it is a good idea, it never works.

9:05 pm - Tood is paranoid. But I respect that he told Amanda that he didn't care what she said to Denise to avoid getting a black mark.

9:06 pm - "[Denise] doesn't deserve [the million dollars] just because she sucks at life."

9:07 pm - So Amanda is not going to vote for Denise tonight. I smell a vote for Courtney from Amanda.

9:08 pm - Wait, Amanda actually thinks Todd is her threat, and is torn because of her loyalty to the Todd-Courtney-Amanda alliance. All of the stuff about Amanda not being able to lose tonight? Out the window. Christ, Denise deserves to win if Amanda is stupid enough to vote for Todd.

9:09 pm - Jeff breaks the ice, but Denise keeps on talking about being on the outsider.

9:10 pm - Dance Courtney dance. "Everybody is on the outside"? BS.

9:11 pm - Jeff brings perceptions and stuff.

9:12 pm - Jeff asks the obvious question to Denise: "Why keep you around?" Denise gives a horrible answer which starts with "I guess you should get rid of me"

9:13 pm - Courtney is winning me over with her response to the "Why keep you?" question. It boiled down to "Nobody wants to see me win." (Direct quote: "And then there's my winning personality")

9:14 pm - Um, Denise is screwed. She just said that Amanda told her she had her back, and then Amanda corrected that. Then Todd gets called out for his grin, and he tried to spin it as feeling sympathy for Denise.

9:15 pm - Denise gets the boot, and I think Amanda's puppy has died. And we also get the looks from the jury to say "I'm disappointed in you three." BTW, Todd and Courtney needs to dial down the pride factor. Celebrate after you leave tribal council you fools.

9:18 pm - Okay, I'm still standing by the Amanda as winner prediction. But this Denise thing needs to be dealt with pronto. I'm guessing Denise will be the last one to speak at tribal council, which hopefully won't be that bad to listen to.

9:23 pm - Amanda is now killing Todd over the commentary on the "I have your back" moment. Todd is trying to smooth it over, but yeah, we've got bad blood.

9:24 pm - Todd claims it was an accident. But man alive, this coudl be interesting (but not likely).

9:26 pm - Todd is says that Amanda should feel better and she just needs to thing about, uh, something. I guess it was supposed to be eating real food, but it sure looked like some sort of, uh, sexual act.

9:27 pm - Food comes, and Amanda is happy. Courtney is hoping that her being herself gets some sort of respect for making it that far. Then she makes fun of Jean-Robert's $500 Louis Vutton shoes. Hope you enjoy your lack of votes Courtney.

9:28 pm - Todd's attitude of "I was playing a game" is a great attitude to have. Amanda's "I have a 33% chance of winning, and I'm going to be completely honest" attitude is also really good. With that said, they spent more time on her and her personal transformation than Todd, so she's winning.

9:30 pm - Here comes the jury. Jamie is looking boobtastic tonight. Denise looks the same as always.

9:31 pm - Power switches to the jury, yada yada yada.

9:31 pm - Amanda opening statement:

* Had a lot of time to reflect on the experience.
* Feels blessed to be sitting there
* Followed a specific strategy: align with somebody
* Aligned with people who she could beat physically
* Jean-Robert, James, Frosti pointed out specifically as being backstabbed (not Denise)

9:32 pm - Todd opening statement:

* Thanks jury for being where they are
* Lied, backstabbed, etc.
* Dream comes true to be sitting at final council
* (PG not interested in Todd at all)
* Separate game from personal

9:33 pm - Courtney opening statement:

* Not a Survivor fan.
* She didn't know what to do and had to figure it out
* Was surprised each time she wasn't voted out.
* She started out weighing 95 pounds
* She won an IC, and is made good alliances, etc.

9:34 pm - Courtney might have clawed back into having an off chance in winning this thing. That opening statement might have put things into a different perspective for the jurors. And Amanda doesn't feel that she backstabbed Denise, but did Frosti, Jean-Robert and James? Interesting.

9:39 pm - And we're back. Jury questions! (No time codes for this.)

James up first, and he looks happy:

He congratulates them, and isn't going to be bitter. He asks for a good time in Survivor. Courtney answers when they first won.

JR next:

He has a dilemma. He doesn't like Courtney, but he promised Amanda and Todd

How can JR vote for Court:

Court quotes the tag line, and won

Amanda, were you lying or did you make a commitment and turn around:

- She broke the word, she didn't want to vote for him, but too many other ones did.

Todd, I went to you day 1, and blah blah blah, why did this happen:

- You were catching up and came up with the strategy I wanted to. I had to get rid of you.

Jeff keeps on going to James, a lot

PG:

You slid in there, Todd.

- Nuh-huh. I got my numbers, called out, etc.

PG: Amanda, stop staring at me with those doe eyes and apologizing (the doe eyes thing won't stop). What did you do better than Todd?

- Caused the James vote.

Erik: What was the riskiest move?

Amanda - Vote out James.

Erik - How is it risky to vote out a guy with two immunity idols?

Amanda - If he played it, I'm fucked.

- Frosti: Todd, why do you deserve my vote?

Todd: Personal different than game. And I lied and voted to you.

Frosti flirts with Courtney, then asks why did you backstab me?

Courtney: Everybody was panicked that I was not going to vote for you. I don't know if telling you would help or not. You aren't a pocket vote.

Jamie: Dirty laundry time.

Courtney, squeal on Todd:

- Airing Todd's dirty laundry is redundant.

Jamie won't give it up though. Courtney basically refuses to say anything bad and Jamie throws her away as a possibility to win.

Todd basically calls Courtney undeserving.

Jamie moves on to Amanda.

Courtney - She's an ungrateful bitch (paraphrased).

Todd - If he's such a great strategic player, why did he lie so much.

Now Todd on Amanda:

I was the bag man/fall guy for her.

Denise:

Bitter speech turns into lecture turns into I'm going to vote for Courtney. (That sound was my eyes rolling. YOU JUST SAID "I WAS GOING TO WIN". BUT YOU GUYS VOTED ME OUT, SO I'M BITTER AND I'LL VOTE FOR COURTNEY BECAUSE OF IT.)

9:54 pm - Commercials. Voting to come. I think Amanda wins, but Todd has a chance, and so does Courtney.

9:58 pm - Here comes the vote. Or not. Stupid quick news update.

9:59 pm - Here's the vote. Jamie votes for Todd and says that he didn't have her vote coming into it, but the tribal council swung things his way. Erik votes for Amanda and sympthasizes with her struggle to be honest. Denise votes for Courtney. JR says that the person he voted for "stole" a million dollars. Todd is so winning this based on that comment.

10:02 pm - Amazing cut scene stuff ,with Jeff saying "I know you'd like me to read these votes" - cut to scene from final tribal council - then Jeff says "and I will, because we are live!" Well played.

10:03 pm - Courtney cleans up okay. Amanda surprises me a bit.

10:04 pm - Todd so thinks he is winning.

Votes: Courtney, Amanda, Todd, Courtney, Todd, Todd (Todd has won.)

10:05 pm - Todd has some combination of a faux-hawk and a mullet. Quite honestly, how can you compete with that hair?

10:06 pm - Somewhere, Mark Burnett is thrilled with this win. Because it happened because of tribal council. Amanda blew it, plain and simple, while Todd stepped up and totally blew everybody away. We also get Jeff being able to explain to us hwo important the final tribal council is.

10:07 pm - Is Todd going to throw some money James' way for not using the immunity idol?

10:09 pm - Todd apparently had some sort of plan which involved an alliance partner, somebody small, somebody big. He actually planned

10:11 pm - Oh my god, Jean-Robert just got crushed. He admitted he voted for Todd because Todd called him the biggest threat. And then Todd admitted he played JR. But Jeff compliments him on not being bitter (unlike, say, Denise).

10:14 pm - Talk about giving James the idols. Todd did it to make James trust him that he would be

10:15 pm - Amanda was afraid that James might kill everybody if he was still around after the "get James" play.

10:16 pm - Apparently the idols could only be played until the final 5. And James trusted his alliance, which is fair, though unfortunate.

10:17 pm - Denise is getting destroyed over not switching in the final 5, pointing out that the bottom of 3 is better to be in the final 5 than the bottom of 4.

10:18 pm - Peih-Gee regrets not suggesting Courtney instead of Todd, which might have gotten Denise to switch. And just to rub it in, Jeff polls the "new jury" and Peih-Gee would have won.

10:19 pm - Sprint is awarding $100,000 to James the most popular Survivor tonight.

10:27 pm - Courtney is recognized by little kids, but she doesn't like it. And she isn't anorexic, and weighs more than 93 pounds now.

10:29 pm - She actually is totally winning me over here with her honesty.

10:30 pm - Jean-Robert loves the way he played the game, and Jeff says he could read people incrediby well (he called Courtney making the final 3, which is surprising). He is also saying that he is playing his best poker of his life, which doesn't necessarily fit with his results.

10:31 pm - Something I haven't mentioned yet is that China was a fantastic location for Survivor. There were numerous shots through out the season that were just breathtaking.

10:35 pm - Here comes the James talk. "What has the reaction been like?" "It's been great." He's been recognized by kids and "older guys". Oh man, they have a picture of him as a little kid. The craziest time he's been recognized? He was waiting for everybody to leave from a funeral, and people were waiting around. He asked if he could help with anything and was recognized and everything else.

10:38 pm - Apparently Denise lost her job as a lunch lady and instead is a janitor. It's because she's "too recognizable". My guess is that she will soon have her job.

10:39 pm - And the "sucks at life" comment comes up, everybody loves everybody, and Jeff moves on quickly.

10:40 pm - Why does Denise have the mullet? Because she needs short hair in the lunch room, but she still wants to be a woman.

10:41 pm - Jamie and Erik? Maybe a couple? Jamie was afraid to act on her feelings (in lieu of making herself a threat), but now she is acting on it. Jamie says they are dating and Erik is happy. Jeff asks Erik if he's still a virgin?!?!?!?! Erik says yes, but still, Jeff asked the question? Really?

10:48 pm - Time for rapid-fire Survivor. Dave tried to scare James off by going naked. Ashley's fans have been supportive regardless of how much she sucked. Aaron says it was tough to watch his initial alliance be the final 3, but what can you do. Leslie didn't think her faith caused her to get the boot, it was her mouth. (Fantastic attitude.) Sherea was surprised she adapted so well. She credits it to her decision to not do any work around camp. Frosti is "hard core" (the flippity do thing) and was hoping it would just be obstacle courses. Chicken is okay with being voted out first.

10:52 pm - OMG! JAMES JUST WON $100,000! NEVER WOULD I HAVE EXPECTED THIS!

10:53 pm - Mark Burnett just decided to give Denise $50,000.

10:56 pm - Survivor announcement! They've never done this before! It's pros (previous favourite players, including one from Survivor 15) vs. joes (superfans)! And that what the tribes are going to be to start. It's in Micronesia. Survivor 16 - Micronesia: Fans vs. Favourites. This February!

Survivor: China Episode 5 and 6 Thoughts

You know how I was talking about the Survivor gods and karma and stuff? These last two weeks have been proof of their existence.

Last week, a case of common sense came over Fighting Tiger. After talking to Sherea and Frosti during the immunity challenge, they realized that the whole "throwing challenges to even the numbers to 5 original Flying Dragon vs 5 original Fighting Tiger" won't work that well if Sherea or Frosti do not want to flip back. So all of the sudden Fighting Tiger is trying to convince James that they actually want to compete.

Meanwhile, James has been kidnapped by Flying Dragon, and the hidden immunity idol is found by Todd (with Frosti seeing what is going on). Rather than keep it himself, Todd gives the idol to James, and tells James to throw the immunity challenge and vote Jamie out. Todd also quickly gets to Frosti to get his trust.

Of course, things do not go as planned. The immunity competition is the traditional "eat gross stuff" competition, and sure enough, Flying Dragons seem to not like to have to eat horrendous stuff. James even held out as long as he could before giving in and eating the gross item in front of him.

So Flying Dragon was left to get rid of somebody. And the obvious choice wasa Sherea. Except Courtney didn't like this idea, and she wanted to get rid of Jean Robert, who she doesn't like. And after campaigning to get rid of him, they went to tribal council, where Sherea decided that she didn't want to stick around. Why else would you go off like she did? She basically said "you can't trust me, I'm a loose cannon" while going off at tribal council, and that truly ended up sealing the deal.

Move to this week, and we get to see the payoff for last year's Yau Man "fake immunity idol" ploy. James, knowing where the immunity idol was on the Fighting Tiger beach, went to his beach and searched in the same spot. Lucky for us, the viewers, James first pulled off the wrong symbol thing, and then grabbed the right one. As well, he did not clean up the wrong symbol, leaving it for Jamie and Erik to find. After finding it, they assumed that it was a hidden immunity idol, and even searched James' bag for confirmation. When they found the idols that James had, they just assumed that the thing they had was the idol. Which brings us to our lesson of the week: If you are going to go through people's stuff, make sure you thoroughly look at things.

After our weekly "Jean-Robert could be going" tease, we get to the vote. After the vote, but before Jeff reads the votes, Jamie speaks up. "Jeff, I have a question. I found this and I think it might be a hidden immunity idol." Jeff inspects it, gives a speech about how Jamie has played something thinking it is an immunity idol, but instead of saying she is immune, he throws the idol into the fire and says that Jamie's votes will count against her. Sure enough, she's gone.

The other surprise is that Jamie is apparenlty the first member of the jury. If my math is right, that is going to give us either 8 jury members for a final 2, or 7 jury members for a final 3. Does this mean that we have a final 3 ahead of us for a guaranteed winner?

So who goes next week? Peih-Gee doesn't have anybody's trust, so she goes before Erik the naive.

Survivor: China Episode 5 Thoughts

It's a good thing that I did not live blog this episode. Otherwise, the report would have looked something like this:

8:24 pm - Peih-Gee suggests throwing the next two challenges. Jamie agrees?!?! Do these idiots know that throwing challenges just ends up in karmic retribution?
...
8:34 pm - You know, if I were to sink so low as to throw a challenge, I would make god damn sure that I wasn't fucking laughing while doing it.

8:35 pm - SHUT UP YOU FUCKHEADS! YOU'RE THROWING THE CHALLENGE AND ARE OBVIOUSLY SMARTER THAN THE REST OF YOUR TRIBE! WE GET IT!

...

8:42 pm - WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THESE TWO MENTAL MIDGETS SHUT UP? AND ARE THE GUYS SO STUPID THAT THEY CAN'T SEE THAT THE GIRLS TOTALLY THREW THE CHALLENGE?

...

8:52 pm - Did Peih-Gee just admit that she and Jamie just threw the challenge after Jeff mentioned it? HOW FUCKING ARROGANT AND STUPID!

...

8:55 pm - Well, at least James stayed. Maybe he can just will his tribe into winning

Now that I've calmed down a bit (but only a bit), let me just say: Peih-Gee, meet Shii Ann. Shii Ann arranged a loss for her tribe, and then assumed a merge was coming when in fact it was not. Of course, Peih-Gee hasn't completely screwed herself yet. But her assumptions that there is going to be a merge at 10, that her tribe is going to form a cohesive unit after being split for 9 days, and that nobody has formed a separate alliance that she doese not know about, are pretty strong, and golly gee I hope they stay true. Lord knows that Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst would hate for the fates to step in and bring a merge at, say, 9 people left.

In Flying Dragon news, Jean Robert continues to be misunderstood. He is told once again that he is bossing people around, and Sherea even suggested that he asked her to help with the cooking because she's a woman. The key to that accusation is that Sherea told her new tribe that she was good at cooking and could be considered the cook. Looks like it's time to officially change my winner's prediction to Todd.

That's about it for now, but if things continue as they seem, expect more swearing about throwing challenges.

Live Blogging Survivor: China Episode 4

Welcome to the live blog! I have missed a couple of episode recaps, but rest assured that won't happen again.

So, a couple of quick thoughts:

Week 2 - I was going to start counting how often they showed Ashley's cleavage, but that stopped within the first 15 minutes when it became obvious she was getting voted out. Running up against the "leader" who is actually doing stuff, while being sickly in the past is a bad idea. Also, Leslie is a dumb ass. She gets told about the hidden immunity idol, and she shares the clue with somebody else.

Week 3 - Speaking of dumb ass, Leslie gets voted out because she spilled the beans on her tribe to the other tribe. What was funny to watch was Todd struggle with trying to get rid of Jean-Robert, while honoring his alliance's wishes. Todd needs to watch out, because he is thinking way too far ahead in the game. Trying to get rid of individual immunity threats at the third tribal council is a recipe for your own elimination. General rule: at the fifth tribal council, you can look at your individual threats.

8:10 pm - Oops. Somebody got the rice at Fighting Tiger wet, and it's pretty moldy.

8:11 pm - Um, Sherea and Dave are going to kill each other. And Dave makes claims that are not accurate. Frosti is there to tell Dave how to lead, which is shocking.

8:13 pm - Everybody's going to Tribal Council? Oh, it's for a challenge. For food.

8:15 pm - Jamie likes fireworks. (At least, that's how that look looked to me.)

8:16 pm - Spices and learning to fish? Not bad.

8:18 pm - Looks close after one fireball. (General premise of the challenge: each team have to use giant chopsticks to carry a flaming fireball to a chute and roll the fireball down a chute. The fireball will set off fireworks. Oh, and the chopsticks get larger after each fireball.)

8:19 pm - Shockingly, Flying Dragon wins. And they choose Dave, which could mean that he is going to get the Leslie treatment.

8:23 pm - Dave feels as though he is on vacation, probably because he is being lazy for once. And he's only thinking for himself? Way to isolate yourself buddy.

8:25 pm - Apparenlty, you don't want to go on vacation with Dave, as he acts like an idiot.

8:26 pm - Criminy, Todd might be the luckiest son of a gun ever. The next clue as well? If he doesn't get this idol, he will soon rank as one of the worst Survivors ever.

8:28 pm - Hey, Fighting Tiger is happy with no Dave. And Sherea is killing my "lose Dave" prediction by lying down when they need her to help.

8:29 pm - Hey, back to Flying Dragon, and Dave is acting crazy again because the fishermen are here! Fish, peppers, eggs, oil and other vegetables.

8:30 pm - Um, Jean Robert knows Mandarin. Holy crap that was the most useful coincidence ever. (Though, wouldn't you bring him for communication purposes when learning how to fish?)

8:31 pm - Much like I need a monkey butler, I also need fishing birds.

8:33 pm - Aaaaand Jean Robert gets into conflict with his alliance mate James. (The ironic part is that Jean Robert was probably in the right.)

8:34 pm - Denise: "A lunch lady is not an expert on food."

8:37 pm - Immunity Challenge time. Each team enters through a bamboo tunnel thing, which looks cool. And Dave greets his team without too much reciprocation.

8:38 pm - Awesome challenge - dress in "traditional" Chinese armor, throw stuff and block with bamboo. Flying Dragon has to sit out a guy, so they go with Jean Robert.

8:40 pm - Um, Peih Gee and Courtney are not meant for this.

8:41 pm - One thing that I haven't mentioned is that the producers have been adding odd things to the cinematography, adding in cut scenes on things that are not needed. (Like in this challenge where they add in a closeup of the hammer thing flying through the air.) I can't tell if this a parody or what.

8:43 pm - going into the last challenge, it is 2-1 Flying Dragon. Then Jmaie comes through with the clutch double hit, while Eric, um, chokes. Seriously, why are you underhanding the hammer thing when you need to hit stuff much higher? Then Amanda comes through with a double hit of her own, and Flying Dragon crushes Fighting Tiger yet again.

8:47 pm - Hmm, who will go today. Dave, who is back barking orders to people, or Sherea who is lazy. Dave is feeling precarious, so Dave isn't going.

8:48 pm - And as I say that, Dave is pleading his case. And now they are targetting Sherea.

8:50 pm - Aw crap. Sherea is trying to plead her case, but she is complaining and basically showing herself to be out for herself. Bye Sherea.

8:51 pm - We could live without Dave, but Dave is a leader and yes man Eric is kissing his ass.

8:53 pm - Aaaaand Sherea cements her departure. Sherea: "I'm stepping it up at camp" Jeff: "From what to what?"

8:53 pm - Peih Gee doesn't give an answer to whether to make camp life good, or to sacrifice a bit for challenges. Then Sherea can't shut up and argues with Peih Gee for a bit. HOW STUPID ARE YOU TO DO THIS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE ON THIN ICE?!?!

8:55 pm - Ummm, fuck me. Dave gets the boot (with somebody voting for "Crazy Dave"). Well, I guess that shows how much I know about this game.

8:56 pm - Jeff gives his lecture. As the remaining members leave, I notice that Peih Gee is still wearing a glittering top.

Next week: It looks like we are going to get our romance for the season with Eric and Jamie. Wait, did Eric just say that he's a virgin?

Also, twist time~! Tribal switch maybe?

Survivor: China Episode 1 - Live Blog

I don't know how well this will go (I have a fantasy draft in 30 minutes), but let's give it a shot.

8:00 - We start in Bejing, and everybody moving from modern life to, uh, not so modern life. Nobody has the same sort of background, though there's somebody who might be our Amber of this series.

8:02 - Hmm, the opening credits show of Ashley's ample cleavage. I can't understand why.

8:03 - Here come all of the survivors with their stuff (seriously, who brings rolling suitcases to Survivor).

8:04 - Peih-Gee is Chinese. And her grandfather just died. Man, talk about your coincidences.

8:05 - A Buddhist ceremony to greet everybody? Cool. (Jeff is quick to remind everybody it is

8:06 - Denise is a School lunch lady with a mullet.

8:07 - Courtney is not pleased to go through with this and complains about her experience. I think Jeff is not going to like her. Meanwhile, Leslie (our Christian talk show host), did not participate in the ceremony because she believes in Jesus Christ. Her reason? She "isn't religious" but she felt it was a religious experience or something. Um, way to out yourself as the crazy religious person to get voted out first.

8:08 - Clothes off of their back? YES!!!! (Tee-hee for Ashley wearing her 8000 pound boots and Courtney - I think - without a bra.)

8:09 - Fighting Tiger vs. Flying Dragon? I'm taking the dragon, thanks. (Fighting Tiger did get Chicken and Frosti though, giving them the advantage in the all-important nickname battle.)

8:10 - They are handing out the Art of War to read? Um, it might just be me, but that is something that the previous survivors would complain about.

8:11 - We start with Fei Long (Flying Dragon), and Courtney isn't getting along with anybody. Maybe she is going to save Leslie from the first boot?

8:12 - The tree mailbox is awesome. And Jean-Robert is mixing things up already by accusing Todd of being a liar (to point out that he thinks Todd is sharp). I am putting Jean-Robert at the top of the list of potential winners immediately (actually, he was already there, but I can't prove it).

8:16 - And we're back, with another shot of Ashley's cleavage (2). Sheara (?) is wearing heels. Chicken is complaining about how to build the shelter.

8:19 - Ashley tells everybody she is a wrestler, which is probably the smartest move she will ever make. Though if I have to hear her talk about her fans for 15 weeks I might burst my own ear drum.

8:20 - Peih-Gee is sharp. (Hmm, she talks about people standing around and not doing anything, then it rains. Survivor powers activate!) Chicken is not helpful, even though he could be.

8:21 - Cue our superman - James. Actual conversation:

Leslie - What do you do?

James - Bury people.

(This is much funnier if you get a good look at James. He looks like he could bury people in a figurative manner.)

8:23 - Fighting Tiger is sleeping in a group while standing in cover. Um, yeah they are so screwed.

8:24 - Chicken is asking what everybody wants to do?

8:25 - Yay, puking Survivor time! Ashley, is sick and not helping anybody. Say hello to our first person to get the boot!

8:26 - Dave is my current favourite player. Telling Ashley to her face that she should not worry about going, then telling the camera she's going unless she shapes up is the right attitude for Survivor.

8:30 - Treemail! And Flying Dragon is smart enough to read Art of War.

8:31 - Yeah, Ashley as the flag bearer for Fighting Dragon is not the symbolism you want.

8:34 - Why is everybody surprised that immunity and a flint are on the line for the challenge? Have they never watched a Survivor before? (Oh, and I'm shocked they did not mention the brand of running shoes.)

8:35 - It's as though these interviews are telliung the future or something.

8:36 - I can't imagine getting a paper tiger wet is a good thing.

8:37 - Shockingly, Flying Dragon crushes Fighting Tiger. See you Ashley.

8:42 - Peih-Gee cries. And now here comes the swerve. Chicken isn't helping, and Peih-Gee is being bossy.

8:45 - And here comes the Ashley get the boot set up.

8:47 - Dave tells Chicken that he won't be voting for him. Which probably means he will be voting for him.

8:48 - Whoops. Chicken just said he wasn't willing to be the leader after complaining nothing got done. Dave, OTOH, steps up. Peih-Gee celebrates way too early about the decision.

8:50 - Ashley is doing a very poor job of defending herself here. Chicken takes a shot at Ashley after admitting he didn't step up himself. I'm annoyed already.

8:51 - Ashley should go because she adressed the camera with "I'm voting for..."

8:52 - Holy crap it's CHICKEN! And he yelled and startled Frosti!

8:53 - They're giving them flint already? Wow, those old Survivors are really going to complain!

8:56 - Uh-oh, Jean-Robert is in trouble next week. But Ashley gets her pro-wrestler out! Or something like that.

Final analysis: Chicken complained about stuff getting done, but wouldn't step up and lead the way (even when he said he knew what needed to be done). That will kill you over the person who was sick at one point.