I don't know how well this will go (I have a fantasy draft in 30 minutes), but let's give it a shot.
8:00 - We start in Bejing, and everybody moving from modern life to, uh, not so modern life. Nobody has the same sort of background, though there's somebody who might be our Amber of this series.
8:02 - Hmm, the opening credits show of Ashley's ample cleavage. I can't understand why.
8:03 - Here come all of the survivors with their stuff (seriously, who brings rolling suitcases to Survivor).
8:04 - Peih-Gee is Chinese. And her grandfather just died. Man, talk about your coincidences.
8:05 - A Buddhist ceremony to greet everybody? Cool. (Jeff is quick to remind everybody it is
8:06 - Denise is a School lunch lady with a mullet.
8:07 - Courtney is not pleased to go through with this and complains about her experience. I think Jeff is not going to like her. Meanwhile, Leslie (our Christian talk show host), did not participate in the ceremony because she believes in Jesus Christ. Her reason? She "isn't religious" but she felt it was a religious experience or something. Um, way to out yourself as the crazy religious person to get voted out first.
8:08 - Clothes off of their back? YES!!!! (Tee-hee for Ashley wearing her 8000 pound boots and Courtney - I think - without a bra.)
8:09 - Fighting Tiger vs. Flying Dragon? I'm taking the dragon, thanks. (Fighting Tiger did get Chicken and Frosti though, giving them the advantage in the all-important nickname battle.)
8:10 - They are handing out the Art of War to read? Um, it might just be me, but that is something that the previous survivors would complain about.
8:11 - We start with Fei Long (Flying Dragon), and Courtney isn't getting along with anybody. Maybe she is going to save Leslie from the first boot?
8:12 - The tree mailbox is awesome. And Jean-Robert is mixing things up already by accusing Todd of being a liar (to point out that he thinks Todd is sharp). I am putting Jean-Robert at the top of the list of potential winners immediately (actually, he was already there, but I can't prove it).
8:16 - And we're back, with another shot of Ashley's cleavage (2). Sheara (?) is wearing heels. Chicken is complaining about how to build the shelter.
8:19 - Ashley tells everybody she is a wrestler, which is probably the smartest move she will ever make. Though if I have to hear her talk about her fans for 15 weeks I might burst my own ear drum.
8:20 - Peih-Gee is sharp. (Hmm, she talks about people standing around and not doing anything, then it rains. Survivor powers activate!) Chicken is not helpful, even though he could be.
8:21 - Cue our superman - James. Actual conversation:
Leslie - What do you do?
James - Bury people.
(This is much funnier if you get a good look at James. He looks like he could bury people in a figurative manner.)
8:23 - Fighting Tiger is sleeping in a group while standing in cover. Um, yeah they are so screwed.
8:24 - Chicken is asking what everybody wants to do?
8:25 - Yay, puking Survivor time! Ashley, is sick and not helping anybody. Say hello to our first person to get the boot!
8:26 - Dave is my current favourite player. Telling Ashley to her face that she should not worry about going, then telling the camera she's going unless she shapes up is the right attitude for Survivor.
8:30 - Treemail! And Flying Dragon is smart enough to read Art of War.
8:31 - Yeah, Ashley as the flag bearer for Fighting Dragon is not the symbolism you want.
8:34 - Why is everybody surprised that immunity and a flint are on the line for the challenge? Have they never watched a Survivor before? (Oh, and I'm shocked they did not mention the brand of running shoes.)
8:35 - It's as though these interviews are telliung the future or something.
8:36 - I can't imagine getting a paper tiger wet is a good thing.
8:37 - Shockingly, Flying Dragon crushes Fighting Tiger. See you Ashley.
8:42 - Peih-Gee cries. And now here comes the swerve. Chicken isn't helping, and Peih-Gee is being bossy.
8:45 - And here comes the Ashley get the boot set up.
8:47 - Dave tells Chicken that he won't be voting for him. Which probably means he will be voting for him.
8:48 - Whoops. Chicken just said he wasn't willing to be the leader after complaining nothing got done. Dave, OTOH, steps up. Peih-Gee celebrates way too early about the decision.
8:50 - Ashley is doing a very poor job of defending herself here. Chicken takes a shot at Ashley after admitting he didn't step up himself. I'm annoyed already.
8:51 - Ashley should go because she adressed the camera with "I'm voting for..."
8:52 - Holy crap it's CHICKEN! And he yelled and startled Frosti!
8:53 - They're giving them flint already? Wow, those old Survivors are really going to complain!
8:56 - Uh-oh, Jean-Robert is in trouble next week. But Ashley gets her pro-wrestler out! Or something like that.
Final analysis: Chicken complained about stuff getting done, but wouldn't step up and lead the way (even when he said he knew what needed to be done). That will kill you over the person who was sick at one point.
Labels: Survivor, Survivor 15
